And thus begins the next chapter of my life: at home. After the hospital gave me my get-out-of-jail-free pass, Mom and Dad skirted me away to my new digs. Isn't it funny how a car ride seems to take forever when you don't know where you're going? As it turned out, my folks only live about two miles from the hospital! Here's a shot of Mom carrying me around nonchalantly as if I were a loaf of bread:
Here it is: my new home. Note the house number - 402. I found this to be really, really spooky, as this was the exact time I was born!
Actually, I was born at 7:35 - ain't I a rascal? But hey, what's that thing floating just above the doorway?
Why, it's a bottle-shaped balloon bearing a message to my neighbors! But what's up with the pronoun? Shouldn't it be "He's a boy"? I just looked up the word "it" in my Webster's and to be sure: I am neither a "lifeless thing" nor a "plant" nor an "abstract entity." Furthermore, I am not a "a person or animal whose gender is unknown" since, after all, I'm a boy. I just got a shudder down my spine as I realize that these people, my folks, will be my primary educators. At least until I am of school age. Forget it - I'll teach myself!
* * * * * * *
The first thing I noticed about my new home when compared to the hospital:
it sure is quiet. Eerily so. So quiet, in fact, that I could hardly concentrate or
hear myself think. Unnerved by my new environment, I retreated into sleep in my new Pack 'n' Play:
One thing that has become increasingly clear with each passing day is the real reason my folks had me: I am their real live kewpie doll to be used for indulging all of their dress-up fantasies. To wit -
I guess there are worse things in the world than being a fashion plate. On a more positive note, I'm happy to report that I have yet to miss a meal! Sometimes my folks arrange for celebrity caretakers to drop by for a little one-on-one with yours truly, such as Aunt Amy (who is more related to me by temperament than by blood):
... and my Uncle Dean:
... and my Baba (pictured here without sidekick, Jaba):
Wait, is this another one of those "image shards"? Why, yes, I think we have another Photo of the Month! Scroll up and click on the tab for "Photo of the Month" to see the entire unedited image:
Establishing a relationship with my brother - Buster the cat - has not been easy.
At this point I would describe our relationship as an uneasy truce:
Here I am later at a family naming ceremony where I was appointed the new name,
He Who Swims with the Fishes:
Dad held my hand during the critical moment:
It's funny, one minute you're awake ... and the next moment, you're not:
Chip off the old block:
Let me stop and take a moment to thank all my family and friends for their support:
Sometimes the best moments are the simplest ones: